Damn. Tonight my folks dropped a real bombshell that ruined all of my plans. I have had the house to myself for the past few weeks while my family was on vacation, and they were originally supposed to return home on Wednesday. With that in mind, I had hoped to squeeze in at least a few more days of drunken debauchery before their return. However, tonight, I found out that they had decided to start heading back early, and would be in town tomorrow. Curse the rotten luck!!!!!! Curse it, I say! So now, my nice relaxing weekend has been wiped out so that I can hurriedly make certain that everything will be in order for their return. Damn, damn, damn, damn. Oh well. On Monday, I'm going golfing with some of the guys at work, so I can at least stay out of the house for a while. Call me a yuppie bastard if you like, I don't care.

Today I let my alter-ego go without any sort of restraint. I hadn't done that in a while. Normally, I am a rather quiet, dull person with a somewhat melancholiac streak. However, when my alter-ego, the Dark Lord Morgoth Bauglir (from whom this site takes its name, also the supreme Dark Lord in J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion. Morgoth also happens to be the boss behind Sauron of LOTR fame.) takes over, I become a snide, sarcastic, evil megalomaniacal madman bent upon global domination. Needless to say, occasionally, Morgoth's presence is always lurking beneath the surface, and sometimes he makes a few snide remarks here and there, but very rarely do I let him just do as he pleases. Today, however, Morgoth had his day. It must be noted that today had been rather trying at work. The kids were bloody aweful, and just when I had had enough, Bauglir came out to play...It all started out with an innocuous water fight amongst the kids. However, as events progressed, gears began to turn in my head. I snuck into the office area and horked four 1-gallon pitchers, which I proceeded to fill with water. Thus armed against the little monsters, I decided to fight water with water, and I wielded those pitchers as though I were in possession of Grond, the Hammer of the Underworld itself. I smote many of the little buggers with the demonic onrushing torents of water, drenching them to the bone, particularly those with whom I was most pissed. With pure sadistic glee, I forced them to run for their towels as I laughed maniacally. Ha ha ha! Afterwards, nothing could snap my calm. Not only that, but I got let off the hook for having to work overtime tonight. Again I say, Ha ha ha!

Why do people ask stupid questions? 'Nuff said.

Where oh where could I have gotten ebola? Yes, that's right, the mother of all blood-borne pathogens. So today, in a moment of stress with the little monsters, I burst a blood vessel in my nose, which started to gush like the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It bloody sucked. Literally. So here I am, gushing my lifeblood out all over the field while all the little buggers are staring at me, and I tell them, "It might be ebola." They're all like, "What's ebola?" To which I reply: "Ebola is the most deadly virus on the planet. It has a 90% fatality rate. It starts out like a common cold, and but it just keeps getting worse. Then, all of your internal organs are gradually reduced to liquid, which proceeds to seep out of every oriface in your body." With those words, I put the fear of God into them. I then proceeded to tell them about ebola's frightening contagiousness. That got them to back off. I just hope it isn't really ebola...That would suck.

On a lighter note, I went over to my friend Ethan's house last night. When Blake arrived, we all drove down to Scarecrow Video (the coolest movie store in Seattle), where we spent what seemed like hours just poring over the various titles available. In the end, we decided to do a MST:3K style thing with a little flick entitled Frogs. It advertised itself as sort of an amphibian version of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, but it a more accurate description would be "stupid polluting people die through their own idiocy while millions of frogs watch malevolently." It was seriously funny, as we all riffed off the aweful dialogue and aweful plot. It was enjoyable for all the wrong reasons.

You know, I really do despise being sick. I can't hear out of my left ear, I have a massive headache, and my nose is stopped up. I know, I know. I'm just bitching about it, but why not? It is MY website, after all, so I can whine all I want and you can't stop me so there. Have you ever drifted off to sleep without quite knowing it, and had a dream that you could have sworn was real? That happened to me yesterday. I was napping on the couch, when I could have sworn that there was this swarm of obnoxious kids just running around my house. The weird thing was that I never left the couch in the dream. All the while, I was getting this feeling like I should be responsible or something and kick these little monsters out, but I could never muster the willpower to leave the couch. I finally woke up, and was asking myself, "Now where the hell did those little demons get to?" when I realized it was all some weird dream. Is my mind slowly leaving my body? Perhaps. Last night, I had this weird dream in which my brain removed all significance of symbols and sounds (i.e., letters, numbers, words). I was just lying on my bed twitching, thinking to myself, "I really have lost it, haven't I?" or rather something more along the lines of "aaaaaahh...mrrrrrrrrrggghhhh...nyaaaaaa?!" It was the weirdest thing. So yeah, if some psychologist were to have a look at me right now, he would probably just say something like "Hmmm. Interesting. My diagnosis, Mr. McCollough is that you are one fucked up individual." And then he'd lock me up.