Morgoth Bauglir: A day in the life of a Dark Lord

WWCD? (What Would Cthulhu Do?) No, for the last time, I'm not a cultist!

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Still Breathing

Howdy folks, still in Germany, though right now I am in the province of Lower Saxony (which, curiously enough is above both Altracht Saxony and just plain ol' Saxony) in a tiny little village. The past week has been spent touring the Alps, Salzburg, the various states of Saxony, and the Danube. Here's the brief rundown:

Day the 1st: I met up with my aunt's tour group in Munich. They were tired and shagged out after their grueling trip, so they didn't get to enjoy Munich the way I did. Granted, I got to spend five whole glorious days there. We drove to the mountain village of Bad Reichenhall.

Day the 2nd: was spent exploring the salt mines and Eagle's Nest (students of 20th Century European History, or anyone who has spent even a paltry sum of time watching the History Channel will recognize this as Hitler's southern headquarters). Interesting stuff, to say the least.

Day the 3rd: We left Germany entirely, and headed for Austria (sorry, no kangaroos). We spent some time in Salzburg of Mozart fame. My six-year-old cousin was a total brat, and threw a huge tantrum, reminding me of why I don't want kids of my own. We saw the old castle, and the royal gardens, which were most interesting. We then headed up north to Linz, a dirty-ass town that totally sucks. I mean, yeah, the Danube's a cool river, but Linz totally blows chunks. Getting off the bus, I was once more reminded of the good Admiral's famous words, 'It's a traaap!'

Day the 4th: From Linz, aka Excrementburg, we travelled up the Danube to the town of Regensburg, back in Bavaria. Had a nice lunch, and that sort of thing, and really began to regret the presence of children, because I damn well needed a bloody beer by that point. From Regensburg we travelled up into this small tourist type town, for a stay in a 4 star hotel. It was nice except that they stuck me with a fucking fifteen-year-old shithead.

Day the 5th: Onward to Saxony, dear sweet Saxony, lower than Lower Saxony, land of the old norse Gods! We went to a place called Saxon Switzerland, which was really awesome. From there we went up to Dresden, which is one of the most peculiar cities I have been in. It was almost entirely destroyed during World War II, and has since been mostly rebuilt, almost exactly as it was, except that surviving stones were used where possible, and are identifiable by their black exterior. It's a haunting place, to say the least.

Day the 6th: After a morning tour of Dresden, we embarked for Leipzig, city of philosophers and libraries. You wouldn't know it from our visit, though. There was a giant sort of festival thing going on, crowding the streets to no end.

Day the 7th: We proceeded in the morning from Leipzig to our final destination, the small town of Dannenburg in Lower Saxony (north of Altrecht Saxony and Saxony), where the homestay portion of the trip begins. My Aunt, my cousin, and I have been assigned to a couple with an 8-year-old boy. Völker, the husband, took the opportunity to try and get me drunk that night, and then took me to the town fair, where he attempted to test my gastrointestinal resolve with some carnival rides. Fortunately, I rolled 20s on my fort. saves, thus demonstrating my gumption. It was fun, so we went back to the house for a few more beers.

Day the 8th: Morning dawned with my aunt informing me that she had decided to 'let' me stay home with Elise in the morning. Elise, the 6-year-old, is an absolute terror. If it weren't for the fact that it was my Aunt's doing that I am able to be over here in the first place, she would fucking owe me. After about a half hour of whining and crying for her mama, Elise settled somewhat, but was still somewhat of an annoyance. When her mom got home, as well as Töke, the 8-year-old, it was okay to go hang out for a bit, but ugh! The evening was spent drinking with Völker and watching the antics of the kids.

Day the 9th (today): After a hellish morning with Elise, I have been able to escape to a little internet cafe, where I am now updating the site, as you can tell. Tonight, I plan to find a quiet pub to drink the night away. I hope all is well back stateside, and I will post more upon my return to the states. Tschuss!