Morgoth Bauglir: A day in the life of a Dark Lord

WWCD? (What Would Cthulhu Do?) No, for the last time, I'm not a cultist!

Friday, August 15, 2003

Insomnia sucks
I'm not kidding about that. It really does. This past week, I haven't been able to sleep, despite the fact that I have made no drastic changes to my lifestyle. I don't know why. The bad thing is that as I just lie in bed trying fruitlessly to get some rest so I can wake up in the morning, I am left with nothing to do but mull over my life and my thoughts. Inevitably, I end up dredging up things that are better left buried. Last night was the worst, as the memory that surfaced was both recent and painful. Let it suffice to say that it involved a painful termination of relationship with one to whom I felt a great deal of attachment. It was as if somebody had stuffed a bag-full of razorblades into my heart, which then proceeded to lacerate itself with each beat. How's that for a pretty picture? And who says it's all fun and games being a dark lord?

Monday, August 11, 2003

Huah!

Ah, yes. August. It's probably the worst month of the year, interminably hot, and dusty, and nobody's around. Except fo' me. You know why? Because. That's as good as you'll get from me on that score. At any rate, a few weeks ago I was just sitting out on this ridge in the middle of the desert, and I couldn't help but wonder if my life was doomed to a state of mundanity. I mean, seriously in our modern world there is so little mystery left that nothing is exciting any more. Nearly everything but the most mundane experiences has been explained away by modern science. Now, nothing really against the scientific method, but it makes the world boring. Plus, I'm sick of people saying we're alone in the universe, as the only intelligent life ever created. I don't know if there is intelligent life out there, or if it cares, but I think my life would be a hell of a lot more interesting if I could find it. The whole work a day life is just stultifyingly boring and lacking in excitement for me. Unfortunately, it's looking as if people are losing interest in exploration of space, seeing it as frivolous and costly. I don't know about them, but it seems to me that space travel is no different from any other human endeavour in that regard. When you really look at the whole of human history, it has all been an exercise in costliness and frivolity. So I say quit whining and pony up. I mean, the whole of international relations comes down ultimately to ephemeral and quite trivial matters in the big scheme of things, such as national borders, taxes, power, etc. We see this stuff in playgrounds, and its no more meaningful because of it. What am I saying? Basically, if you're gonna' be costly and frivolous, you may as well be interesting while you're at it.