Swords in the Future

So last night, Sarah came over to the flat to watch bad movies. Originally, we had intended to watch Bruce "Don't Call Me Ash" Campbell's newest, The Man With The Screaming Brain. However, Blockbuster, in their infinite incompetence, did not stock it. So it was that we began searching for something else. We found Christopher "McLeod" Lambert's 1999 crapfest, Beowulf, which is loosely (and I do mean loosely) based upon the ancient poem of the same name. The similarities basically begin with the fact that the characters share the same names and there's a monster named Grendel terrorizing a castle, and end right about there. All of the actors look awkward and uncomfortable in every scene, and it is clear to the audience that this is either an embarassing step down from their usual standards, or yet another step sideways in a career chock-full of similar embarassments. The only actor who looks remotely comfortable is Layla Cook, for whom this is actually a step up from her usual fair, namely porn. And she plays Grendel's mother. Grendel himself is basically a purple smear of vaseline on the camera lens, mixed with a dash of Predator. All other characters are basically useless cannon fodder. In short, I loved it, as did Sarah. There are some movies that approach greatness from the other side, going so far into horrid that they come out fantastic (for all the wrong reasons). Beowulf is one such movie, and every fan of MST3K should view it at least once. Perhaps more.