Blindsided

Okay, so the break was really good. On the Friday before I left (the 17th) Renee and I went out to look at lights and such. We had a fantastic time. It was really good. We were really bonding. The next day, I drove across the state for the usual Christmas at home. It was nice and relaxing. When I got home, Grandpa was visiting, so that was good. I like him. He always has an interesting perspective upon any given event. The funny thing is that he is actually the liberal one in our family. Oh well. What are you going to do? On the 22nd, Renee came over and got to meet the family. They really liked her. After all, she is smart, friendly, and gorgeous. What's not to like? That night, she and I attended a Christmas party at the Kurtz's home and the birthday party of her friend, Stina. At both places, we had a really good time. At Stina's house, we played Cranium, a game at which Renee and I kick the royal arse. Afterwards, she went back to Kurtz's, and I went home.

Christmas was nice and relaxing. Grandpa left before all of the festivities began, but it was good nonetheless. Mom decided that all of my gifts would be practical in nature, hence the cook set. Oh well. On New Year's, I hung out with Ethan, Blake, Michael, and Megan. I haven't seen those guys in ages. They all seem to be doing well. Michael turns out to be gay (no real surprise there), and Megan's father is batshits (no real surprise there, either). Other than that, they all seem to be doing well.

I returned yesterday for Jan term at Whitworth. I'm taking "molecules and the mind," a class that fulfills that pesky natural science credit. After the class, which should shape up to be a most interesting investigation of the relationship between the brain and chemistry, I went over to Renee's house, as she had mentioned that she wanted to talk to me in person. It turns out that she thinks that I am too good for her, and that she does not deserve to be with me, and thus broke up with me. Okay, let's face it. She is one of the most wonderful people I know. The last thing I want is for her to think that I am too good for her. I guess she made a mistake over New Year's, but still, it's only a mistake, something that can be fixed. I don't want her to punish herself any more than she already is. And the weird thing is that everything seemed to be going so nicely between the two of us. Next thing you know, I'm single again and I'm drowning my sorrows in alcohol. I really did not see this coming. Hell, I don't think anybody did. I really don't want to lose her. Fortunately, I handled the whole thing with a great deal of equanimity at her house when she told me, but it still hurts. I desperately want to make things right between the two of us, but it seems as though events are trying to sabotage our relationship. In all actuality, I think she's the first girl I've ever really liked who has reciprocated in kind. Renee, if you are reading this, know that you are truly special and are more than I deserve. I regret none of the times that we spent together, and hope only that you will feel the same. I want this to work. The LORD giveth, and the LORD taketh away, but right now he seems to be especially keen on the takething.