How to break up with your significant other

Yes, you too can use this simple deductive proof to get out of that lousy relationship of yours. First, a bit about the notation used (yeah, I know it's not the official stuff, but it's the closest approximation I can make with a keyboard):

>is the middle of an if-then statement ("if p then q" is written "p>q")
= is the symbol for material equivalence in this case.
~ is the symbol for negation
v is the symbol for "or"
* is the symbol for "and"
# is the symbol for "therefor"
r in this proof stands for relationships
c represents communication
Everything below the # is the reasoning behind the proof. The numbers in parentheses indicate which term is being manipulated, and the words within the parentheses refer to the rule of inference used in said manipulation.

1. r = c
2. ~c
# ~r
3. (r > c) * (c > r) (1, material equivalence)
4. (c > r) * (r > c) (3, communtation)
5. (c > r) (4, simplification)
6. ~r (5, 2, disjunctive syllogism) QED

Yes, it works. It worked for me, and it can work for you! Who says philosophy never helped any one?