Have you ever been to the Hood Canal Bridge? An interesting thing about it: in the wake of September 11, the U.S. Government has decided that the bridge needs to be protected from possible terrorist attacks. Their solution (and I am not making this up) is this: a man in a box. You heard right, a man in a box. Now, when I first heard this, I pictured a little rabid dwarf guy who is kept in this box, to be let out when terrorists attack, mauling them with the savage ferocity that only a Napoleonic midget can summon. Turns out that this would actually be a step up from the actual thing. When I drove over the bridge a while back, I found that rather than a maniacal dwarf in some weird cage thing, there was this guy slumped in the corner of a cubicle snoring with a Playboy over his face. Upon seeing this, I was immediately struck by the fact that the only thing standing between me and terrorist-caused doom was this sleeping man. Boy did it make me feel safer. In fact, it gave me hope, hope in a future where a guy can get a minimum-wage job that consists of sleeping, reading magazines, and more sleeping. Who says the economy sucks? Who needs the stock markets with a job like that?